So, yeah, his comfort with death can be something of a blessing. It can also be a bit of a curse.
He has a real fascination with "army guys"...anyone in the military service is an "army guy." He wants to be one when he grows up, and he wants to fly airplanes. But as we were looking through vacation photos tonight, he spotted this photo of himself -
As we were lying in bed after I read him his story, I was about to kiss him goodnight when he turned away from me in the dark and said, with the slightest quiver in his voice, "Mom, if I'm one of the guys that never comes back, promise you won't forget me. Okay?" I simply could not say a word because I was choking back my tears.
I didn't want him to know I was upset, but before I could pull myself together he asked if I was crying and quickly flipped on his lamp to check on me. He gave me a big hug and said he was sorry for making me cry. He told me not to worry because that was only one of his choices for what to be when he grows up, and he said he wouldn't do it if it made me that sad. I managed to steady my voice long enough to tell him that he can be anything in the world he wants to be, and I want him to be whatever makes him happiest. Even if that's an "army guy."
Hopefully God won't be too upset with me for the fib. A quick smooch goodnight, and I scurried out of his room before I totally lost it.