Sunday, September 16, 2007

He made me cry.

Aaron is very matter-of-fact when it comes to the realities of life and death. It's a blessing in many ways, because he isn't emotionally devastated by the death of a pet like some children are. (and like I still am!) He once "buried" a deceased pet fish by carrying it into the backyard and dropping it into a crack in the ground. He then giggled, saying that the grass would probably get greener there. He also enjoys speculating about what new pet he might get when his current pets expire. (But he's always very careful to cover their ears or whisper quietly so as not to upset them by speaking of their impending doom.)

So, yeah, his comfort with death can be something of a blessing. It can also be a bit of a curse.

He has a real fascination with "army guys"...anyone in the military service is an "army guy." He wants to be one when he grows up, and he wants to fly airplanes. But as we were looking through vacation photos tonight, he spotted this photo of himself -
So of course, he told me when he grows up, he wants to be the gun shooter.

As we were lying in bed after I read him his story, I was about to kiss him goodnight when he turned away from me in the dark and said, with the slightest quiver in his voice, "Mom, if I'm one of the guys that never comes back, promise you won't forget me. Okay?" I simply could not say a word because I was choking back my tears.

I didn't want him to know I was upset, but before I could pull myself together he asked if I was crying and quickly flipped on his lamp to check on me. He gave me a big hug and said he was sorry for making me cry. He told me not to worry because that was only one of his choices for what to be when he grows up, and he said he wouldn't do it if it made me that sad. I managed to steady my voice long enough to tell him that he can be anything in the world he wants to be, and I want him to be whatever makes him happiest. Even if that's an "army guy."

Hopefully God won't be too upset with me for the fib. A quick smooch goodnight, and I scurried out of his room before I totally lost it.

4 comments:

Jessica and Matt said...

Oh my goodness. I am sitting here BAWLING at work. Seriously. SO sad and SO sweet. I started to tear up when I read that he said he wanted to be a "gun shooter." And then at the part about after the bedtime story, I lost it. Seriously. I love that kid. What a sweetie.

Okay, I have to pull it together before people start to worry about me.

Love you! Love your family!

j.o.r.d.a.n. said...

whoa...just needing a little break before my big test and I get this?? tears are rolling. Jasmine he is the sweetest most unpretentious and honest kid ever! All I have to say is-- Giggles! Gun shooting's not for you, Dude. :) Love you. Love that kid.

Jaelan @ Making Mrs. M said...

OMG! Jas,

He's amazing-that is so sweet, and still so sad. He's really something.

Jessica and Matt said...

You tease.